WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

Okay, so tonight I basically hurt a friend of mine who said that I've changed for the worse and have become someone who she... basically doesn't know anymore. I told her I am the same person I've always been but I don't allow people to hurt me anymore. I used to wear my heart on my sleeve but now, I don't allow people to get close to me because I've been hurt for so long. Oscar and I have been together 2 months tomorrow (the 24th) and I don't want to be with him anymore. I don't care about pursueing a relationship with him anymore. I want to be alone. I don't have time for a relationship nor do I want to try to become anything else with him. We're just not going anywhere. I don't know what I want so until I know something, I don't want to drag him along so I'm going to have to break it off tomorrow. I have to, there is no other way. May God help me because if I died, I'm sure I'd be going to hell. I don't have my Christian walk anymore, I don't have my quiet time, and I don't get anything out of my church sermon. I miss being happy. I was happy being alone, not having to deal with this. I need help.