The Storm

Last night a storm ravaged through northwest arkansas bringing strong gusts of wind, rainfall beyond any we've seen in months, and lighting that looked like a 4th of July Parade. The storm wasn't only in the sky, it was in my head. As I laid in bed at 3am this morning I realized I'll probably be alone for the rest of my life. I have so much love to give and yet no one wants it. They see me as "old" baggage. It sucks getting older. It occured to me loving someone isn't the same as knowing them. People say they love one another to be able to fuck, but only dissapoint you later by you finding out they lied to you only to get some ass. I want it to be special when it happens. I'm not the typical gay man. I'm not even typical. Maybe I should just move away and not worry about finding someone. At this point I'm looking for someone real and genuine. But in my world... hey, that's like finding a unicorn. It'll never happen.

The Storm continued today in my head. Sleep can not put to rest this undying and tormenting wrath that enfolds before me. I will awaken tomorrow to a new day with yesterday's shadow still hanging over my tired and weary body, beconing to be released. I am alone.