2 Weeks

I gave my 2 weeks notice yesterday for the bank. I can't afford time wise to give all that I can at school, work 18 hours a week, and still get my degree finished while getting ready for my senior recital. So basically this was a decision that I wasn't sure I wanted to do. I mean this is the second time that I've left the bank and I'm not sure that they will allow me to come back. If they don't I know there are other banks that will want me with my experience.
Last night Jessica got pissed off at me when I was joking with her. I'm not going to say I'm sorry because I was only kidding. Instead of her walking off she needs to actually tell me what bothered her so that I don't do it anymore. I don't know what I'm going to do...
I'm working at the Fayetteville East branch and everyone I'm sure is really sick of me. All I ever do is do my job. Everyone else does too but they don't really pay that much attention to me. It's like I'm the "new" but "old guy" and I don't fit in so why bother getting to know me. I've tried to start conversations but they ignore me. I guess I'm happy about leaving the bank. I don't see myself working here for the rest of my life anyway. I think I would be happy being a CSR but that's the bank's decision; not mine.
There have been times in my life where all I've wanted to to do is talk to my grandmother again and ask her opinion. I should have gotten to know her better but I didn't. I need to go over and see my grandfather and now that I'm not going to be working, I can actually go over and stay for the weekend. I'm really happy about that. I know he will be too. I really miss talking to him. I miss listening to him talk about the war, Mamaw, and other things. He's just as smart as Mamaw and misses her deeply. I hope I've still got enough time to get to know him better than I do. I was always a Mamaw's boy.
I realized over the course of the last couple of weeks that I've really gained weight. So since I'm not going to be in school, I'm going to do something about it. I'm really tired of feeling like I do. I've always said I was going to do something about it and DAMN IT I AM! This is a time to better myself and make me happy for a change. I've always been there for everyone else, trying to make everyone elses life a little easier. Now it's my turn. I'm going to be doing the D.P.E. stuff in Eureka Springs, singing at church, and getting ready for my recital. If that's not enough to keep me busy I don't know what is!

Yet Another Post

So this weekend I've not done much but lounge around, playing with my dogs, remembering memories about various things in life. I still think about Susan. I miss her very much. I can remember when she would get excited about something she would give out a big smile and her eyes would light up. I'm sure Mark is having the time of his life; fighting fires, rescuing people and such. I am an Alumni of the fraternity now. Because of the war, I am unable to complete my last semester to graduate; the government needs the money. I have had my fair share of schooling I guess and need to focus on actually living and not watching everyone else live theres. I am hoping to travel at least some point in my life. Here I am almost 28 and still haven't done much with my life. I guess I thought I would have accomplished SOMETHING in my life. I gues I have to some degree. I mean I have found out who I am and what makes me happy. I have realized that I can be a great host for Diversity Weekends. Many people have faith in me that I can do whatever I set my mind to... I am babbling. I want true love and to be happy with someone. I want my family to love me for whatever my decisions in life may be. I know after I tell my family that I am gay, I will never be able to see my brother, his wife, their two children, my sister, her husband, and their four children ever again. They will never know me as someone who is part of the family. They will know me as the brother and uncle who was the outcast.