I wish everything could go back the way it used to be. I thought everything was fine. I now know how some feel, but I don't know how others feel. Until that time, I can't make any decision on what I CAN DO FOR ME. I have no place to go if everything happens. Everything in the world that I thought I had found a foundation in is falling apart. I love my brothers in the chapter but am considering dropping out completely. I don't think I'll do that though. I just need my friends here with me and they are wanting to leave to do better things for themselves. I want to do the same, but have them with me along the way. I know I can't have them for the rest of my life. I have to be able to let go.